Category: Ireland

Re-entry shock – you can’t go home again

Culture shock is defined by Wikipedia as the “difficulty people have adjusting to a new culture that differs markedly from their own. A reverse culture shock a.k.a. “re-entry shock” or “own culture shock” is a state when returning to one’s home culture after growing accustomed to a new one produces the same effects.

First culture shock hit me when I arrived to Portland, Oregon, in March. I thought it was over then and that there will be no more surprises about adjusting to my normal life in Europe. I did not know that the second culture shock comes when people return to their home country. Many students on exchange programs experience it. Here’s my rant.

Big surprise

The shock of the transition to Portland, OR, was surprisingly weak. It took me only a couple of days to adjust and embrace the new life there. The easier this transition went, the more difficult the second transition was.  It was new and unexpected for me. The beginnings were really difficult, manifesting in confusion and other negative feelings.

Business as usual – as if we never left

My normal life, as I knew it before, was over. Most things remained the same. The things I hated before are still there and I still hate them. But I was not the same at all. I could not avoid a feeling of disconnect between the past and the present life. Another fellow told me a story of how on her first day at work, everything turned as it was in a split second. There was just one word of her boss and just one look of her colleague and she was back to her old relationships.

Repulsion

Stereotyping and hostility towards host nationals were not as new to me as other re-entry symptoms. When we came to Ireland first time, everything and everybody looked very different. This time, my eyes became very critical this time, though; every small weakness of the new-old country seemed like a giant disadvantage.

Physiological stress reactions

I was lucky not to have any serious stress reactions, but some of my friends suffered. Depression was lurking in the background and sometimes jumped into Facebook statuses, e.g. “I have grown two wings but I can’t fly”. Examples of what happened to people who came back included divorce, no house, no job, mood swings, or people at work are not welcoming them. Compulsive eating/ drinking/ weight gain occurred too: another fellow have lost 5 kg while on fellowship but upon her arrival she toured her family for 2 weeks and gained that weight again. My mother in law lived in UK for five years and when she came back home, she wanted to return to UK immediately.

Disappointment – inability to apply new knowledge and skills

People aren’t interested in my experiences from abroad. I will never be able to use the knowledge I have gained abroad. Ambitions and competition hinder cooperation, people see you like their enemy. In the previous country, if they saw you being good at something, they supported you. Here, they envy you and try to make it harder for you. This country is broke and there are no growth opportunities. There are no money, no jobs. I could do much more if I stayed there. Smart people struggle to survive here. How can they live in such miserable conditions?

Rootlessness – I don’t belong here

Feelings of alienation and withdrawal are common symptoms of culture shock. I felt that people aren’t nice here. They don’t appreciate if I smile at them or if I start talking to them. They don’t like me and don’t understand me. I feel so weak here, so helpless and isolated. I need their response or feedback. I need to engage with them. People see the “wrong” changes when they look at me. “You’ve lost weight” somebody said and I didn’t believe her. Three other people said it later. This was not the type of change I was proud of or that I wanted them to recognize.

Boredom

The shift from a big town in a big country to a smaller country was dramatic. This is a small town, there’s nothing here. This is nothing. No life, no culture, no fun. It is boring. Services are undeveloped, ineffective and slow. They are not customer orientated. People are dull and everything is made on such a small scale that it doesn’t even matter. Everything is small. Cars, trains, houses are small; I need more space to live better. Bicycling is unsafe, there are no bike lines and cars don’t share the road with cyclists. The streets are dirty and the greens are overgrown; nobody cuts them regularly.

Our flat is very small; we need to move out to a better place. I don’t like this area; I don’t understand how I could live here before. We threw away most of our things when we came back home. Our home was not our home any more. This state is well phrased in the saying “you can’t go home again,” first coined by Thomas Wolfe in his book of the same name.
Hope

When people return home after living abroad, it can take a while to adjust to their home country. Some don’t get used to it at all. I had the privilege to meet people who succeeded in bending their new lives. The new life wasn’t great. They lived in small apartments and struggled financially. But at least some of them enjoyed what they worked on. It was a demanding and low-salaried job, and often not just one. This gives me hope that things can get better. This country doesn’t have big events, venues or communities, but there are many small, which can serve the same purpose.

Going home

West coast and East coast of the U.S. are very different, people always told me. West coast was my home for 6 months – spring and summer. At the summer’s end, I took a long trip home to explore the East coast. This blog is about our journey to NYC, Ocean City (NJ), Millstone and back.
On Monday, we went from Portland, Oregon, to New York City. The Portland cab couldn’t find our address and stopped at the bottom of the block, leaving us to carry our heavy luggage alone. This was his second day at work, and his first airport ride – as we discovered later. He played in a heavy metal band for 11 years, since he came to Portland, and he was a vegan. To our great surprise, he knew many towns in our homeland – Bratislava, Prague and Brno – because he played there with his band. His intimate knowledge of those places made us feel closer to him, as we talked about the live in Portland. People who move to Portland are … bums, they are different. What is it about the city that attracts this special breed of humans? We couldn’t find an answer to that question, but agreed that it is the best city in the States. The driver wanted to give us 5$ discount because of the address issues, but we refused recognizing that starting a new job requires learning new skills, which takes time.
NYC was dirty, crowded and noisy. Our red-eye flight drained away all our energy and motivation to explore the city, so our greatest experience there was a long, morning nap in the Central park.
On Tuesday morning, we woke up in the Ocean City, New Jersey. I chose to stay in the Crossings Motor Inn long time ago. Ten years ago, I spent a summer working in its laundry room. It was my liberation summer, when I gained independence and self-reliance, changing my lifestyle forever. I was just a kid when I was here the first time. I didn’t realize it until now; 10 years of independence. As an adult artist-scientist, I am much more self-aware; I’m also very thankful that my research job allowed me to get here after 10 years and to have a great time, and to relax my tired scientific brain.

Crossings changed me; how has the motel changed?

The motel was no longer owned by my Italian friends; staff and housekeepers were different too. Our housekeeper was Kayla – a quiet student from Russia. J1 students, like her, were experiencing increasingly more problems with obtaining visas for this type of work/ region. Sandy damaged the Jersey shore and left its mark on the Crossings too; the lobby was painted and refurnished. Should I have come back last summer – before the Sandy storm – I would still see the ugly pink countertop in the reception. The season ends in Crossings on September 29th, the receptionist stays with her daughter during winter. The handyman hopes to get a job in the construction; he was able to do so during the last 2 winters
On Friday, we went to visit my cousin in the Millstone Township, in the Lakewood area. After dinner, and a short card game with Cassandra, they drove us to the JFK airport. Journey to the airport was never-ending. The traffic was really bad. We needed to pee badly and struggled to find a toiled. So we left the free-way and found a supermarket, where we were the only white customers. The bathroom smelled badly. Half of the toilet desk was missing and so were the bath tissue and soap. Nobody wanted to use the toilet and when I opened the door to get in, a nearby girl told me to save myself. Under these circumstances, there was no discussion about finding another toiled; we did it there. Luckily, we had just enough time to catch our flight back home. Our home away from home – a second home in Ireland.

A decade in the addictions field

book, envelope, window

Edited March 4, 2020 by janklimas

… or women, men and non-binary folk who mentored me.

Career in addiction health services research can be daunting. There are moments when people in this career path struggle at work. Have you ever been in that situation yourself? Here’s my story.

Needle exchange movie at 16

The internet was still a toddler and I watched the TV rarely. But when I turned on the box on one of such occasions, a summer afternoon, I was brought into the streets of the Slovakian capital, Bratislava, which was a world far far away for me. Young social work students backpacked those streets with bags full with clean needles and distributed them to drug users and sex workers; they talked about what this exciting and controversial pastime meant for them. They worked for a needle exchange project – Odyseus – and I wanted to do it too. I was excited to help drug users in the same way these women did, but I had to wait a couple of years until I grew up.

At that time, they still called it ‘Street work’ which later became ‘Terrain Social Work’. In the following years, I learned from my future boss that the Slovakian public TV screened the film quite often, but mainly as a filler in the downtime hours.

Unanswered phone call at 20

After acceptance at the psychology degree, my world changed and the range of my interests expanded. Nevertheless, I never forgot about that documentary. It was in the second year when I saw a poster at our university board, at advertised Needle Exchange as a part time job for students. I picked up a public phone and dialled a number from the poster – following my teenage dream. Nobody picked it up, so I left a message which too remained unanswered, forever. The number on the advert wasn’t for the Needle Exchange which the documentary talked about, but I didn’t know it at that time. By chance, I ended up working for the agency from the documentary movie because they had an email address posted on the internet and were more responsive than the project which advertised on our student board.

Student project at 21

Part of my comprehensive exam in the 3rd year of my undergrad was a research project. As most of my friends, I struggled with access to patients. Because of that, almost everyone did a literature review – without having a clue what we were doing. I chose the role of family and drugs as my topic, but it wasn’t an easy choice. At that time, my interest in drugs was drifting away and I felt like researching something else, for example depression or disabilities. I don’t remember how I ended up with drugs again, but my review led to working with Dr Timulak, and eventually, to my MSc and PhD projects.

Dr Peter Halama, PhD and Hungarian trams at 25

Dr Halama, PhD was this new face at the Trnava University, when I wrapped up my comprehensive exam. They were good friends with Dr Timulak and when I asked him about ideas for my MSc research, he said that Dr Halama was doing some interviews with drug users. Two years later, I found myself co-presenting our findings with Peter at a psychotherapeutic conference in Slovakia. Read more about that research here. From there, it was easy to continue in my research with Peter at a doctoral level. I enrolled as a part time student in Social Psychology, which did not convince him that I would finish it. When I announced – after two years of studies – that I’m moving to Hungary for a year, I think Peter had a hard time suppressing his doubts that I would finish my PhD from Hungary. My Hungarian adventure was, however, a real turning point. I had to commute between offices and spent long hours in trams. Being too bored of watching cars and people pass by, I started to read open access articles which I downloaded from internet the previous day. Some were more interesting, others less, but when I found something really relevant to my work, I felt like a gold miner who just dug his jewel out of piles of dirt. My passion grew stronger with every new paper.

Irish job hunt at 28

When we arrived to Ireland in early Autumn 2008, all I had was a small EU grant with a budget of 3000 euros and an unclear host organization. We managed to survive for almost a year with a great help of my wife’s EVS stipend and occasional p/t jobs. The work on my PhD and the EU grant took most of my time, leaving only a couple of hours for finding a more stable position. When I eventually ran out of money, it was late winter and the job market had dried up. I submitted my resume to many advertisements, including a research job on men’s sexual health. I must say that research was not on my list of Top 5 jobs, but when this position came up after 8 hopeless months of job hunt it was a true God-send. The pictured ad initially offered a PhD post in drugs research, but at the interview, my current boss – Prof Walter Cullen – told me about a p/t place on the same project. That’s how I came to research drinking among methadone patients in primary care at UCD.

Dr Dennis McCarty, PhD at 31

OK, I know I said that there were 5 key decisions earlier, but there has been a lot going on recently. In July 2011, I have been to a summer school on drugs in Amsterdam, Netherlands – no one could imagine a better place for this adventure. Dr McCarty, lectured for several days on different policy models and evidence based treatments. Two years later, I’m sitting in an office down the hall from Dr McCarty’s office, writing my final report about the INVEST fellowship. Visit this post to read more about how I got here. I did not think that the summer school would lead to a fellowship in Portland, OR and I’m most grateful that it did.

With Dennis, I have learned about things I thought did not exist. For example, about researchers who enjoy writing. Writing up research projects is a task that many new researchers fear the most. Dennis is a master writer and his craft is contagious; I’ve discovered a need in me, a strong urge to write a lot and in many different formats. I hope this ‘fire’ will keep on burning for at least another 10 years.

Engage in not for profit organizations.

Two organizations jump started my work in non-profits, the University Pastoral Centre and a youth club. I learned the power of community building through youth activism with John Lesondak and taught team building for non-profits with Ivan Humenik. With Ivan and friends, we also had a musical band, JK& band. These activities inspired me to get involved in the community projects for people who use drugs.

Access mentors in voluntary service programs.

Petra a Ivan Sedliacik connected us to the world through the European Voluntary Service, which is a training program of the European Union. My youth exchange training took part in Budapest, Hungary, and a small suburban town called Goddollo with Zsuzsa Szabo. I was trained as European volunteer, improving soft skills and contributing to the common good. Petra and Ivan continued to support me throughout my training and shared their own experiences from living abroad and being European volunteers.

Be a life-long learner.

A Leonardo Da Vinci Scholarship, which was European Union’s Lifelong Learning Program, took me to Cork city on the south of Ireland. Geoff Dickson mentored me in the city’s YMCA. A few miles away, in Ballincolig, Ivan McMahon overlooked my evaluation of youth programs for early school leavers and single moms. It was great to see the practical application of science in Ireland while doing my part time doctoral degree. I got to evaluate training programs, develop program databases and identify best practice approaches for real life problems by searching the literature.

Write outside your comfort zone.

While writing scholarly articles is difficult itself, one can easily fall asleep their comfort zone. I stepped out of this zone in 2013 when I enrolled in a prompt-based creative writing workshop in Portland, OR, housed by the state’s largest bookstore, the Powell’s books on Burnside street (https://writearound.org/). This is when I began to take my writing interests seriously thanks to our volunteer instructor, Matt Blair. His workshop re-invigorated my passion for writing and taught me the value of daily writing practice.

Helping agonist patients with alcohol problems: A NEW guide for primary care staff

What should doctors do differently when screening for alcohol use and delivering brief interventions for agonist patients in primary care? General principles remain the same like for other people, but:
  1. the screening and treatment processes should be more systematic and proactive in all problem drug users, especially in those with concurrent chronic illnesses or psychiatric co-morbidity,
  2. lower thresholds should be applied for both identification and intervention of problem alcohol use and referral to specialist services,
  3. special skills and specialist supervision is required if managing persistent/dependent alcohol use in primary care.

What agonist patients think about alcohol #SBIRT? A new paper out now

What do patients attending family physicians for methadone treatment think of screening and brief interventions for alcohol problems? Except for being screened at the intake, few recalled routine screening or treatment, and felt that primary care staff should be more proactive when addressing excessive drinking.
Check out our new qualitative study (www.biomedcentral.com/1471-2296/14/98/abstract)